


Gold

by evlytheevilqueen



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, Viktor POV, please take your angst away from me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 18:24:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8928217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evlytheevilqueen/pseuds/evlytheevilqueen
Summary: “After the Final, let's end this.”There was a faint ringing in Viktor's ears. That was about the last thing he expected to come out of Yuuri's mouth when he'd asked what he wanted to talk about.
Or the one where they talk about things but are still kinda idiots about it but it's okay because things end with something round and golden and super vague plans with a set core. 
P.S.: Phichit and Chris are dicks but also very good friends.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kima](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kima/gifts).



> Because fuck the angsty headcanons left and right, I'm gonna believe in an angsty ending for this show if it hits me in the face and no sooner. This will in all likeliness not be what will happen, but if they get close I will be more than overjoyed and I have faith.  
> Also, I refuse to write Viktor with a c, because no. He's Russian. This should be a k. Unless his parents were the kind of pretentious that enjoys torturing their children with exotically spelled versions of very common names.  
> P.P.S.: This is all your fault Alex, hope you're happy.

“After the Final, let's end this.”

There was a faint ringing in Viktor's ears. That was about the last thing he expected to come out of Yuuri's mouth when he'd asked what he wanted to talk about. He'd expected some last minute anxiety so shortly before the free skate, sure. But seeing as Yuuri had been surprisingly calm and collected ever since they'd entered their hotel room, that worry had faded somewhat into the background. Viktor was still prepared for the mood to make a 180 and having to calm Yuuri down (hopefully more successfully than last time, that one was on him). But he had been less ready to spring into action with a handkerchief any second after the usual signs remained nowhere to be seen.

It was not his proudest moment, but all the usually so eloquent Viktor Nikiforov could reply with was a distinctly stuttered “W-what?”

Yuuri was still looking straight into his eyes, features hardened with resolve, the hands clenched into the fabric of his pants the only sign that he wasn't half as calm about this as it appeared from his deliberately relaxed posture.

“I'm- After this season, I will retire from ice-skating. I've been thinking about it for a long time. Before you came along, I wasn't even sure if I would return to it at all. But I guess this is better, going out when I'm at my best instead of just hiding from my shameful failures.”

Viktor felt his molars grind together with how hard his jaw was clenching. For the first time in a long while he was glad that there were no mirrors around a room because he really didn't want to see what his expression looked like right now.

“Then you'll have to keep going,” he ground out.

Yuuri blinked at him in confusion, thrown for a moment. Good, Viktor would have hated to have run out of ways to surprise Yuuri even half as much as he kept throwing Viktor for a loop.

“You said you'd prefer going out at your best. Well, you still have a long while to go until then. We barely started tapping into your true potential.”

Viktor wanted to punch something at the wistful smile that pulled at Yuuri's lips in reply, the tiny, fond headshake accompanying it feeling like a punch to the gut. Wasn't Yuuri the one who'd told him that all he needed was for Viktor to believe more strongly in him than he could ever believe in himself?

“Viktor.” How could his name still sound so sweet and loving even when he knew perfectly well that he wouldn't want to hear what was coming after it? “I know you believe in me. And I'm so, so grateful for that. But I think you're overestimating me. I've given as much as I can to this season. But it won't be enough, we've seen that today.” He held up a hand to stifle Viktor's protests before they could make it past his suddenly tight throat. “No, don't deny it. This is- this is not just my anxiety talking, okay? Even if I deliver my program flawlessly tomorrow, the most I can hope for is maybe bronze. I don't think anyone else is going to fumble the way JJ did today. I love that you have so much faith in me, but gold is just not in the cards anymore.”

“So?” Viktor asked, trying hard to fight down the anger that was bubbling up at the back of his throat and threatening to choke him. It had the bitter aftertaste of betrayal. “Then you'll just make bronze this year. We can work on your program, we can make it better. I'll be a better coach, I'll learn how to handle your panic better. We keep training and even if you don't make gold this year, there is still next year.”

Yuuri started shaking his head before Viktor was even halfway through his speech.

“I've given it my all. More than I ever thought I had to give. This is as far as I can go and I'm okay with that.” He smiles at Viktor and for the first time since they met (even if Yuuri couldn't remember the actual first time) Viktor would rather not have him smile at him.

“You give up too easy, Yuuri! You thought you couldn't get this far when we first started training and look at you now! Look at everything you've achieved this season! Do you really want to throw it all away now?” _Do you really want to throw me away like that?_

He bit down on that last one, but of course Yuuri was looking right through him anyway. He'd never really taken any of Viktor's bullshit, after all. “I'm not throwing it away, Viktor, I just know that this is as far as you can push me. I'm content with how things have worked out for me.” It felt like his eyes were boring straight into Viktor's soul and this time the smile didn't hurt. “And I might be giving you back to the skating world, but I will be just a little bit selfish and keep your heart for myself.”

Viktor took a deep breath. His heart and ice-skating just had been entangled for so long, he hadn't really had the time to get used to the fact that now the former firmly belonged to something that could leave the rink. Deep down he knew that Yuuri never would have been this calm about approaching the topic if he'd meant to break it off completely with Viktor. Still, even just breaking off the part of them that was still coach and protégé underneath all their entanglement felt like betrayal, cold and bitter. Viktor wasn't ready to let go of any part of Yuuri just yet.

“How many times do we have to go over this, Yuuri? I don't want to be anywhere else than right here with you. I don't need to be given back to the skating world. I've won everything there is to win. Without you, that world holds no surprise for me anymore. There is nothing left for me on the ice that would surprise me more than you.”

That small smile was still not leaving Yuuri's face and it was starting to tug at something angry and desperate in Viktor's stomach. “You know that's not true. I've seen how you watched the other skaters today. That is the world you belong in, it was written all over your face. And I may not give all of you back, but that bit? I owe it to you and the rest of the world to give that back. I always knew this would be my last season and everything else would be unfair to you.”

The frustrated noise fighting its way out of Viktor's throat at least startled Yuuri out of that serene smile that was slowly starting to make Viktor irrationally furious. Maybe it was just that one too many people had told Viktor that his life belonged to the ice with a calm face. But for once he was going to take back something he wanted for himself and to hell with ice-skating.

“And what about what I want? Does that count for anything in that plan of yours?” It came out harsher than he'd meant it to but the shock on Yuuri's face was worth it.

“Of course it does! But-”

“No buts, Yuuri. How would you feel if I just decided for you that you're not going to retire yet? I don't want you to, I want to stay at your side as both your lover and your coach, but in the end? The choice is yours. And choosing if I want to go back to the skating world and how? That is my decision. Only my decision. You're free to tell me what you think of that decision, but that's all. It's not yours to make, Yuuri.” Viktor took a deep breath, taking in the way Yuuri's expression was somewhere between flabbergasted, guilty and stubborn. He decided to march on before Yuuri could gather himself enough to interrupt.

“I've never really had a life outside of skating. It's all I've ever known, all the rest of the world has ever let me know. Don't take away the first thing I've really had for my own. I love seeing my friends' progress, I'm proud of them. But please, don't make me go back to a life where they are more rivals than friends. Don't make me go back to that loneliness.”

Viktor couldn't remember the last time he'd given someone a pleading look this genuine. He had no idea what he was doing. He was just desperate to make Yuuri see what he was feeling. Desperate enough to share his more dramatic inner musings. Desperate enough that he didn't want to take back his words even though they made Yuuri's face crumble like it had when Viktor had threatened to resign as his coach. Not if it was driving the point home.

“Viktor-” Yuuri started to gasp out but whatever else he might have said got lost in the tears running down his cheek. It broke Viktor's heart to watch, to not feel like he could reach out and dry those tears for the first time in months. But this was necessary. He hated it, but deep down he felt that this was what they needed to move past this. Something in his gut told him they would make it past this, the same place that had let him know when he was going to win a competition with unerring accuracy since he was ten. He trusted that particular gut feeling more than his conscious mind.

Twisting the ring on his finger, he slowly got up from the windowsill. Yuuri looked up at him with wide, wet eyes, scared as he'd only seen them right before an important performance. Viktor almost caved but this time he was sure. This was what they needed – some space to come to their own conclusions so they could resume this argument on the same page. Some time to process. The timing wasn't ideal, but it was what it was.

So he moved slowly to the door, turning around one last time with a hand already on the doorknob, hair still slightly dripping onto his collarbones. Yuuri's eyes were fixed on him, fearful and tear-stained and tearing right into Viktor's soul, his new-found resolve. He really hoped he wasn't messing this up as bad as Yuuri's panic attack at the Cup of China.

“I'm not going anywhere. We both just need some time and space to think right now. I'm going to crash in Chris' room. If you start panicking about your free skate you can come get me anytime, I'll be there. I'm going to get you for the warm-ups tomorrow morning.” He paused, giving Yuuri his most genuine, heartfelt smile. “And Yuuri? I won't take my eyes off you tomorrow, not even for a second.”

With that he stumbled out of the room on unsteady feet and somehow made his way to Chris' room. The whole way down the floor he prayed to every deity he'd never believed in that his gut feeling wasn't abandoning him now that the ice wasn't his sole reason of being anymore. To his relief and eternal gratitude, Chris didn't ask any questions when he saw him standing on the other side of the door, wet and pathetic and barefoot. He just took one look at his face, ushered him in and forced him into a nest of blankets. A warm mug of something was pressed into his hands and Viktor was sure it would be alcoholic in nature, only to raise an eyebrow at Chris when he took his first sip and the only flavor bursting across his tongue was chocolate-y goodness. Any other day this would have definitely earned a resounding _vkusno_.

Chris rolled his eyes at him. “This is genuine Swiss chocolate. Appreciate it, I don't share it with just anyone.” Viktor just nodded demurely into his mug and kept sipping away, not even twitching when Chris' boyfriend came out of the bathroom and Chris started to explain his presence. The last thing his half-there mind registered was the boyfriend taking the empty cup out of his hand and Chris gently shoving him into the blankets and tugging him in like a little child. The two of them slipped into the bed next to his – just like Yuuri and him they'd been given two beds they'd shoved together. They'd pulled the other bed over a little, however, to give Viktor some semblance of privacy he was immensely grateful for. Then the light was turned off and Viktor was truly left alone, with his mind replaying everything that had happened between him and Yuuri that evening. Needless to say, he didn't sleep particularly much.

 

***

 

The next morning Viktor realized that he was still in nothing but a bathrobe and that more or less ruined his plan to appear somewhat composed when he was going to knock on Yuuri's door. The second thought that trickled in was that Yuuri hadn't come to get him to talk him down during the night, followed by a wave of disappointment. Viktor huffed at himself – it was probably better for them to have the entire night apart, even more so if Yuuri's nerves had held up well enough on their own. Except maybe he would have needed Viktor and just didn't feel like he could actually come to him anymore despite his reassurances...

That particular trainwreck of a thought process was cut short by Chris shoving a bundle of clothes in his arms. When Viktor looked at him questioningly he only got a huff and a “Stop looking pathetic and go get your boy” in response. So he got dressed and went to get his boy.

Standing in front of the door to their shared room Viktor felt a surge of panic climbing up his throat. What if Yuuri wouldn't open up? What if he wouldn't let him in? What if he wouldn't talk to him anymore after last night? Would they be breaking up for real now because Viktor had screwed it up? Before he could work himself into a spiral worthy of Yuuri himself, the door was flung open and a breathless Yuuri stood before him, obviously from fresh under the shower, wet and half-naked and with dark circles under his eyes and puffy cheeks and the most beautiful thing Viktor had ever seen.

“Viktor.” His name on an exhale, and there was no resentment or hate on his face. “You came.”

“Of course.” Viktor almost choked on the words. “I promised, didn't I?”

Yuuri smiled at him and it was a fragile thing but it still settled something in Viktor's stomach. Yuuri let him step inside to get his coat and as he hurried back to the bathroom to dress, Viktor caught a glimpse of his ring reflecting the artificial light of the hotel room. Suddenly, breathing felt so much easier again he had to sit down on the beds Yuuri hadn't pushed apart for a moment.

 

***

 

The way down the rinks to the warm-ups was tense and silent but Viktor had expected as much. This would have to be resolved after the Final. As he watched Yuuri nail jump after spin on the ice, he was approached by Phichit, to his great surprise.

“You know,” he started, leaning next to him, casually stealing a tissue out of the Makkachin-box to wipe his brow. “I think what he needs most is to be reassured that you staying is not conditional.”

Viktor raises an eyebrow at him and hands him another tissue.

“I know Yuuri, okay? I've known him a lot longer than you. I've been his rinkmate for years. I know how his mind works. I'd bet good money that whatever you guys are fighting about, it's about him wanting to quit. He does that. Especially now that you told everyone you'd marry him if he wins and then he doesn't deliver perfectly in the short program.”

Viktor felt his mouth drop open as he's staring at Phichit, who was ignoring him in favor of looking at Yuuri out on the ice. “That was not an if!”

Phichit finally turned his head, only to give him the most unimpressed look Viktor Nikiforov had ever been subjected to. “You really are quite dense when it comes to other people's emotions, huh?” His eyes bore into Viktor's for another agonizing moment. “Once and when might as well be if in Yuuri's head. This is gonna be some rerun of 'I won't be good enough, he'll be disappointed and leave, I'm only acceptable if I prove myself'. That's just how he works. What you need to do is prove to him without a doubt that you _want_ to stay and that he doesn't have to do anything to earn that, again and again.” Viktor was starting to sweat under Phichit's intense gaze. “Are you prepared to do that?”

He didn't even have to think about it for a second. “Yes. Anything it takes.”

Phichit smiled at him sunnily, as if he hadn't tried to drill a hole into Viktor's brain with the power of his stare only seconds ago. “Thought you might say that.”

Viktor stared at him for a few seconds more, still not entirely sure what had just happened. Then inspiration struck and Viktor thought he might have the idea that could rescue him from his own stupidity. When he shared it with Phichit, after a quick glance to make sure that Yuuri wasn't within earshot or giving them suspicious looks, he seemed pleased enough with it, too. As he finally walked off again with a promise to Viktor that he'd organize everything for him so Yuuri wouldn't get suspicious, it felt like a giant weight was falling off Viktor's shoulders. He was relatively sure that his – admittedly magnificent – idea would be able to salvage what he'd unknowingly sabotaged. The knowledge made watching Yuuri practice all the more beautiful, especially when he saw Chris giving him a thumbs up across the rink after talking to Phichit.

 

***

 

No one but Yuuri was surprised when he delivered the most flawless performance of his free skate program to date, landed Quadruple Flip and all. Viktor hadn't been able to keep from jumping along from where he was watching, eyes glued to Yuuri's every last move. He was sprinting off to the kiss and cry before his brain could make the conscious decision to move. Only during the last few meters separating them did he even start to worry what kind of celebratory gesture Yuuri would even let him make in their current situation. He didn't have to worry for long because seconds later he had his arms around a laughing Yuuri and was swinging him around wildly, laughing along because nothing in his life had ever felt as good as watching Yuuri live out his full potential. He was bursting with pride and love and joy and so was Yuuri and it was a marvelous moment of perfection before reality caught up with them again.

In the end, Yuuri didn't get gold even with a flawless performance – not much was going to stand a chance against what Yuri was delivering this Final, after all. But he did end up on the podium. With Phichit's insights at the back of his mind Viktor could thankfully decipher the tension in Yuuri's shoulders on their way to the locker room. He had to bite his lip against the urge to ruin their carefully laid plan and just reach into his pocket and hopefully make that weary look disappear from Yuuri's face right then and there. But everyone in on the plan had told him to shove his inner dramaqueen aside for a moment and think of how Yuuri would feel about that moment happening in front of a giant crowd with cameras everywhere. So, for Yuuri, he kept himself in check until they arrived in the locker room, with only Chris, Yuri, Phichit, JJ and Otabek plus their coaches for an audience.

As soon as the door fell shut behind them Viktor gently spun Yuuri to face him, hands on his shoulders. It took a moment for Yuuri to lift his eyes off the ground and actually look at Viktor, but he could stretch his patience for those few heartbeats. He felt the tension in Yuuri's shoulders relax a fraction at the broad grin Viktor could feel stretch his face. “I'm so incredibly proud of you.”

Yuuri looked stunned and Viktor would have loved to hear what he'd have to say to that. But his impatience finally caught up with him again and he made his next move before Yuuri could even draw enough breath to say anything. “And I know I said we'd get married once you win a gold medal. But I never specified what gold medal, did I?” Finally, his hand slipped into his coat packet, fingers wrapping around cold metal. He ended up thrusting it into Yuuri's hands with a lot less finesse than planned. Judging by the baffled look on Yuuri's face he hadn't noticed, though he could hear Chris snicker at him from across the room.

“What is this?”

“Read it.” Viktor was almost shaking with anticipation. Between this and the high from Yuuri's performance, would it be enough to bridge the gap between them that had revealed itself last night? Would this finally put them on the same page? His heart was beating so loudly he feared for a moment that he wouldn't hear Yuuri's reaction over the rushing sound of blood in his ears.

What he didn't expect was for Yuuri to start laughing a little hysterically. “Yuuri?” Viktor was frozen on the spot, unsure how to proceed now.

It took Yuuri a while to calm down enough to speak again. “I'm so sorry, Viktor.” And even flushed red with tears streaming down his face after a good laugh at Viktor's expense he was still the most breathtakingly beautiful thing Viktor ever laid eyes on. “But... Have you actually looked at this after you had it made?” He held up the golden medal in his hand for Viktor to see, fingers still wrapped firmly around the ribbon. And there it was-

“Nr. 1 in _Victor Niliforv's_ heart?!” He turned his gaze away from Yuuri for the first time since he entered the ice for his free skate to give Phichit and Chris a piece of his mind – he knew he should never have trusted them to get the thing engraved! Before he could open his mouth to get started on his diatribe though, a hand on his arm spun him around and there were warm hands on his cheeks and cold metal against the side of his neck and then Yuuri was kissing him, wet and laugh-crying and amazing.

When he pulled back for much needed breath the look in his eyes made Viktor want to kneel at his feet and thank every higher power in the world for letting him find this divine creature. Though he could maybe do without the mischievous spark in there that he just knew was at his expense. “I think I could stand to get married to that Victor Niliforv guy.” Yuuri was kissing him again. Somewhere in the background Viktor faintly heard Chris and Phichit catcalling and Yuri yelling something angry-sounding in Russian. He didn't care that their cheering turned into laughter again after a few seconds, either. He'd pout theatrically about it later but the brutal truth was that he'd officially change his name to Niliforv in a heartbeat if that was what it'd take to have Yuuri believe in them. Hell, he'd change it into Bronislav Svintusevsky for even half a chance with him. For now though, he had a kiss to concentrate on.

 

***

 

It took a while for things to calm down again after that. Thankfully, their friends showed enough tact to give them some time alone to sort at least a little through their remaining problems in private before they had to head off to the banquet. Viktor was relieved beyond words when the radiant smile on Yuuri's face didn't dim when the door of their hotel room fell shut behind them. He was also still clutching the medal, so that was probably a good sign, too.

“So, Victor Niliforv,” Yuuri began, a smirk on his face and Viktor prided himself on only groaning a little, “You actually want to get married? Even if I decide to retire now?”

He'd bet money that the smile he could feel on his own face was no less radiant and besotted than Yuuri's. “You could decide to clean sewers for a living come tomorrow and I'd still be at whichever courthouse you want me at, whenever you want me there.”

Yuuri's responding giggle sounded suspiciously wet. “I think maybe I'm going to give ice-skating one last chance.”

“Are you going to give your coach another chance, too?”

Yuuri rolled his eyes at him. And everyone kept telling Viktor _he_ was always ruining the moment. “No, I'm going to ask Yakov. There was never a question who I'd want as a coach if I stick with skating.” The teasing smile fell. “But if I change my mind during the off-season...”

“I'll still be there.” Viktor gave him the most reassuring smile he could. “I don't care what you decide to do, as long as it's what you really want. The only thing I care about is that you'll still be with me no matter where we end up next year or in ten years.” He took a deep breath. “But that includes that you'll have to accept what I want to do, too.”

“I guess I could be okay with whatever you can come up with, so long as you keep working out.” The smile he was giving Viktor was serenely innocent, the way his eyes slid up and down his form very decidedly not. This man and his opposing everything were going to be the end of him and Viktor was very, very alright with that. Still, he had a reputation to uphold, so he pouted.

“Oh, so you only want me for my body?”

“Not exclusively.”

And then they were kissing again and Viktor stopped pouting.

This wasn't the last time they would talk about this and their plans were vague as could be and could change at any moment. But as long as they stuck with the part where they would never give up on each other no matter what Viktor was fine with that.

If they were a little late arriving at the banquet, no one mentioned it. And if Viktor hid Chris' collapsible pole in the broom closet out of spite, well, he got it back before their departure the next morning.

 


End file.
